


slowly, and then all at once

by bakushiro



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Smut, Love Confessions, M/M, Past Andrew/Neil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 18:03:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18429272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakushiro/pseuds/bakushiro
Summary: It’s 9 p.m. on a random Saturday night four years after graduation, and Kevin’s only just realised he’s fallen in love with Neil.





	slowly, and then all at once

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, hope you enjoy. I've always loved Kevin and Neil's dynamic in the books, and I just had to write this. I love them so much.
> 
> Title taken from The Fault in Our Stars by John Green: _I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once_

It’s 9 p.m. on a random Saturday night four years after graduation, and Kevin’s only just realised he’s fallen in love with Neil. 

The realisation starts slowly – he was watching Exy, a short replay of Neil’s game four days ago. There was a small flower of pride that blossomed in his chest as it does every time, knowing that he was the one who helped Neil get to where he was right now. He couldn’t take all the credit, obviously, but that doesn’t stop Kevin from being ridiculously proud as he watched the five-foot-three redhead blaze across the court like a fireball. 

The realisation unfurls when he sees Neil switch hands, left hand gripping the racquet tightly, and he remembers Neil coming up to him, eyes firm and lips thin, demanding that Kevin teach him how to play with his weaker hand. If Kevin did it, why couldn’t he? 

Neil’s determination had made it a success; he became one of the top strikers in Exy, bested only by Kevin himself. They both played with either of their hands when necessary, and that made them dangerous and unpredictable. 

The left-handed move that Neil had perfected pays off easily as the goalkeeper is caught off guard, and the goal lights up red mere seconds before the buzzer sounds to end the match. Neil’s team won, managing to pull ahead at the last second, beating Kevin’s team with the same move Kevin had taught Neil. 

But the realisation hadn’t ended there, only deepened as Kevin watched himself on television – captain of the team that won the world championships four times – march over to Neil and gather him up in the warmest of hugs, holding him so tightly. In the midst of the celebration, Neil had jumped onto Kevin, wrapping his arms and legs around the taller man easily as his teammates roar with excitement around him. 

Kevin remembered how it had felt to lose the trophy for the first time since he was captain. He hadn’t cared. How could he? Seeing Neil’s joyous face, his blue eyes sparkling and lips stretched in a wide smile, arms wrapped around Kevin like he was the only one that mattered. 

The rival teams had clashed and clashed and clashed, and finally, for the first time, as vice-captain, Neil’s team had prevailed. Neil’s win was Kevin’s win through and through, and Kevin couldn’t hate him for it. 

Kevin Day, the Exy legend, the famous Captain. The man who would burn the world if it meant he held the Exy World Championship trophy, was upended by a short redhead with a fiery temper, a horrid past and a gorgeous smile. 

It had all slotted together so quickly that Kevin felt a bit light-headed, staring unseeingly at the screen as it changes to two women sitting in front of a table, speculating about Neil and Kevin’s seemingly ‘close’ relationship.  

Kevin doesn’t even have the chance to be scared, because the thing about love is – or the realisation of it, is that it gives you power and strength that you never knew you had. 

They’re speculating about the hug, about the closeness, about the training, about Neil’s use of his left hand. About the entire university life, about their past, they’re reading much further into things, assuming things that were and weren’t true. 

Kevin expects his phone to be ringing soon from the PR team, but he can’t care, because – 

Fuck, because Neil’s coming out of the bathroom, wearing one of Kevin’s oversized sweaters and nothing else. The hem of the sweater is brushing his thick, firm thighs and Kevin knows that if he turns, the sweater’s going to be barely covering Neil’s supple ass. He’s grinning at his phone – that gorgeous smile Kevin loved so much – while rubbing his wet hair with a towel. 

“Andrew sent me a picture of one of his cats curled up in the net of his goalkeeper racquet,” Neil’s giggling as he slings the wet towel over his shoulder, typing a response to Andrew. “You should see it, it’s the cutest-“ 

Kevin’s staring spell is broken when Neil glances up toward the television, lips parting when he sees what the two women are talking about. 

“Fuck, Kevin,” Neil breathes, and Kevin cocks his head. There’s a panicked look on Neil’s face, eyes blown, eyebrows raised. “Kevin, I’m- we need to fix this. Where’s your phone?” 

Kevin _loves_ him. Hopelessly. Helplessly. 

Neil’s stretching over him to reach Kevin’s phone, at the same time grabbing the remote and switching the television off. Kevin’s distracted by the sweater stretching up, revealing more of Neil’s pale, firm ass cheeks.  

His breath catches in his throat.  

Neil doesn’t move from off of him, just lays draped over Kevin’s lap without another care in the world. As if that was where he was always meant to be. 

“Here,” Neil shoves his own phone in Kevin’s face. “Talk to Andrew. I’m going to message Wymack and check Twitter, see what’s happening.” 

Kevin stares down at the picture Andrew had sent Neil, which is extremely adorable- a small, grey kitten curled up in the net of the huge racquet that hasn’t been used in forever. 

For a moment, there’s hesitation. 

Could it be true love if there was no jealousy? 

Kevin knew Andrew and Neil’s past relationship all too well. They cared for each other deeply, in a way Andrew would never admit and Neil could never explain. But it didn’t matter to Kevin. Just like it didn’t matter to Neil that Kevin still talked to Thea – 

“Fuck, Wymack’s fielding off calls and Twitter’s a fucking mess,” Neil hisses, scrolling quickly through Twitter. His eyebrows are furrowed as he turns to look at Kevin, propping himself up on his elbows.  

The mouth of the sweater slips lower, yawning open to reveal the mess of hickeys Kevin had left on Neil last night. He still remembers Neil’s taste, the feel of his writhing body beneath his lips – 

“Neil,” Kevin says. 

“I’m going to call my agent,” Neil cuts him off, determined. He grabs his phone from Kevin’s hand, dialling the number. “Andrew,” he says as soon as the phone’s answered. It’s all business in his voice, not like he’s sprawled over Kevin in nothing but a sweater, his ass peeking out. “Did you see this fucking bullshit gossip? It’s all over Twitter and it’s trending. What the fuck are we supposed to do-” 

Kevin takes the phone from Neil, hearing a small cry escape Neil. The phone’s by Kevin’s ear and Andrew knows who it is before Kevin could speak.  

“Don’t hurt him,” is all Andrew says, and a small smile spreads across Kevin’s face. 

“I won’t. It’s going to be fine. You can handle this, can’t you, Minyard?” 

“Don’t patronise me.” Andrew hangs up and Kevin tosses the phone to the side. 

Neil’s staring at him, bloody murder in his eyes.  

“Kevin,” Neil says patiently, in a saccharine voice. It means trouble. It makes Kevin fall even more. “This is going to be very bad for your career. I don’t give a fuck what it means for me, but you can’t be outed, not now. You have to make an epic comeback, you have so much shit left to do! Fuck, Kevin, this is really-“ 

Kevin leans forward and slots their lips together. Neil’s lips taste like a fight and the words die between them as Neil opens up like a flower beneath Kevin. Neil’s all minty toothpaste and warm breath and Kevin wants to pull him closer, but then the smaller’s tearing himself away from Kevin, panting, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Kevin,” he whispers, eyes confused.  

Who can blame him? Wasn’t it Kevin Day who said ‘Exy players can’t be gay if they want to be a successful pro player’? Wasn’t it Kevin Day who said this to Neil Josten when he’d walked in on Neil and Andrew in their second year, pressed against each other on one of the beanbags in their dorm, so close that there was no space between them, their lips attacking each other as if it were a fight?  

It’s not like he was lying, but he’d always thought that if it ever happened to him, he could separate his love life and career. And then came Neil Josten, on his porch in the pouring rain, a few hours after he and Andrew had mutually ended their ‘relationship’. 

“Kevin, they can’t know you’re gay,” Neil’s voice is soft, he’s sitting up in Kevin’s lap, thighs bracketing Kevin’s hips. Kevin wants to run his hands up Neil’s thighs, he wants to grip Neil’s warm skin, but he knows it’s a sure-fire way to make Neil slap him away because he’s trying to have a serious conversation, so he keeps his fingers to himself. For now. 

“I’m bisexual,” Kevin responds stupidly, and Neil just stares at him.  

“Kevin, this is fucking serious,” he says eventually, voice quiet. “I don’t want your career to be ruined. Not for me. You’re the best Exy striker in the _world_ , Kevin –“ 

“You’ll beat me soon,” Kevin says confidently, surprising himself.  

“I’ll definitely try,” the smile on Neil’s face is reluctant. “Kevin, you have an amazing career ahead of you, you’re going to be on top of the world, your team is amazing, and you’re their amazing Captain. Maybe you should go on a date with Thea or something –” 

“I love you,” Kevin says, as realisation dawns on him fully, all at once – he doesn’t want to have an amazing career or be on top of the world without Neil by his side.  

Neil’s stopped midsentence, his mouth hanging open on the aborted word as he stares at Kevin. He closes his mouth, swallows, licks his lower lip. 

“Andrew will fix it,” Kevin continues as if he didn’t just confess his feelings to the person who wasn’t even his boyfriend. “I don’t want to do this without you, Neil. I’m not going to pretend.” 

Neil’s still shocked speechless. Kevin wants him to do something, even if it were an explosion of fury. 

“Kevin.” 

Neil’s voice this time is soft, sweet, choked and laden with emotions.  

“Baby, you can’t-,” Neil’s hands rest of Kevin’s bare pecs, sliding up to cup his neck. “It’s your _career_ , Kevin.” 

“There was a point in my life when my only love was Exy,” Kevin responds softly, honestly, and he sees the moment when his words hook Neil.  

Neil lurches forward and kisses Kevin in a desperate motion, thumb brushing Kevin’s pulse point in the hollow of his neck. Surely, he can feel Kevin’s heartbeat against his thumb, and Kevin finally allows himself to touch Neil, his fingers gripping Neil’s thighs, sliding up, to grasp the prize barely hidden by Kevin’s sweater.  

“Jesus,” Neil whispers against Kevin’s lips, a sharp gasp escaping him as Kevin’s fingers dig into his ass and yank him forward, making their torsos meet. “You’re a fucking idiot, Kev,” Neil presses their foreheads together, their breaths mingling. “Ichirou’s going to fucking kill you if you get outed.” 

“Then we tell him to fix it if he wants us to continue making him money,” Kevin responds. “Leave it to Andrew, Neil. Don’t you trust him?” 

“I don’t trust _you_ not to be an idiot.” Neil’s confession is whispered, breathy and Kevin huffs. 

“You knew that even before you got into my bed.” 

“Pretty sure it was against a wall, the first time.” 

“Semantics.” 

“I love you too,” Neil pulls back, baby blues locked onto Kevin’s, throat bobbing as he swallows. “Kevin, I think I love you too much.” 

“I thought you didn’t swing,” Kevin tries to jest, but he’s really trying not to cry ugly tears in the midst of confessions. 

“Fuck you,” Neil says and kisses Kevin again. 

The kiss is warm, loving. It’s something they’ve shared once or twice before, a connection they refused to talk about as they did the dance without putting a name to it.  

It was easy – it was perfect. They were boyfriends without the label, they fell in love without expectation. Kevin can see himself in the future, maybe years after they’re retired – Neil’s still stealing Kevin’s hoodies and sweaters and drowning in them and Kevin’s still waking up too late and making Neil disgusting healthy smoothies – 

They _work_. They just hadn’t given it too much thought. Neil practically lived at Kevin’s, Kevin couldn’t remember a time he woke up without  Neil at his side. What more did he need, more than proof that they  _worked_? 

Neil’s pressing closer to him, working his tongue into Kevin’s mouth. His thighs are holding Kevin’s side firmly, arms wrapped around Kevin’s neck. Kevin tastes the love confessions in Neil’s mouth, he tastes the fire, he tastes the warmth. 

His hands slide up Neil’s back, gripping his slim waist, holding him tightly. He can feel Neil’s hardening cock pressing into his abdomen, and it sends a lick of fiery lust down his spine, his bare cock twitching under Neil’s ass. 

“Fuck,” Neil presses his cheek to Kevin’s, gasping for air.  

“Baby,” Kevin swallows, eyes lidded as his nails scrape Neil’s back lightly.  

“We just fucked,” Neil whines, and Kevin laughs softly, nosing Neil’s cheek. 

“But we’ve never made love,” is Kevin’s response, and a soft groan tears out of Neil’s throat. He cups Kevin’s chin, holding him firmly and pressing their lips together hard. 

“Promise me you’re not going to do something stupid,” is Neil’s breathless answer. “Kevin, I need to know. I can’t let you fuck all this up just for me.” 

“I don’t want to lie,” Kevin whispers, heart in his throat. He knows all the ways this could backfire on him, but the truth is – “I won’t do anything stupid, but I will not give you up, baby.” 

“I’ll take what I can get,” Neil laughs, kissing Kevin’s nose. He reaches over, grabbing the almost empty bottle of lube, grimacing when he sees how little there is. “We need to stop fucking so much.” 

“I have an extra bottle in my gym bag,” Kevin reminds him and Neil flushes hot, probably remembering the time Kevin fucked him hard in the gym shower, one hand over his mouth, the other hand twisting around his cock as he blew Neil’s mind. 

“Shut up and prep me,” Neil whispers, a hint of desperation in his voice. Kevin loves when that happens, loves when Neil’s horny and practically begging for his cock. He coats his fingers, sinking two easily into Neil’s recently fucked open hole and Neil gasps, lips pressing into the juncture of Kevin’s neck. 

Kevin doesn’t have to prep him much, finger fucking Neil until he’s mewling and grinding against Kevin’s stomach. By the time he’s finished, Kevin’s cock is hard and aching, just from Neil sucking a bruise into the curve of his neck, teeth scraping against Kevin’s sensitive skin.  

When Neil slowly sinks down onto Kevin’s cock, it’s perfect. Kevin’s heart is overflowing with intense emotions, and all he could do is grip Neil’s hips as Neil rocks on his cock in slow, powerful motions. 

“Fuck,” Neil whispers, shivering. “Your cock always feels so good in me.” 

“I have the battle scars to prove it,” Kevin grins, referring to the scrapes and scratches Neil always left on his back when Kevin fucked him missionary.  

“I cut my nails,” Neil huffs and Kevin smiles, shutting him up with a kiss. 

It’s that kiss that makes Kevin realise that despite what he thought, he was never in love with Thea. No matter how much he tried to make that relationship work, it had never felt like this. It had never felt so _complete_ , so  _whole_.  

Neil fit into Kevin’s broken pieces, mending him and making him whole again. He was the only one who helped Kevin wean himself off drinking. He was the one who helped Kevin grow, mentally and emotionally. They never gave up on each other, despite the arguments and fights and the casual ‘I hate you’s’ tossed around. 

Kevin’s guiding Neil’s hips to fuck him in slow rocking motions. They’re gasping into each other’s mouths, Neil riding Kevin's cock like his life depended on it. It’s intense and desperate and Neil just holds on, pressing their sweaty foreheads together. 

 _This_ , Kevin thinks dizzily, as Neil’s hole contracts around him with every slide.  _This is what making love feels like_. 

“Kev,” Neil whimpers, and their bodies move fluidly as Kevin rolls them over, hand cupping Neil’s lower back. His cock shifts in Neil, pressing deeper and a sharp cry escapes Neil. 

Kevin leans over the love of his life, and Neil’s looking up at him with wide blue eyes, full of trust and love. His sweater is rucked up around his chest, which is heaving for air, his hard cock flush against his abdomen, hard and leaking. 

Kevin presses their lips together as he fucks Neil in long, hard motions. His hips roll against Neil’s ass, and Neil’s gasping at every deep thrust. 

“I love you,” Kevin promises, tears in his eyes as the emotion overwhelms him. Neil’s absolutely fucking beautiful, wet hair frizzy against the pillowcase, scars twisting into either cheek, and he’s every bit the gorgeous man Kevin loves. 

“You’re-,” Neil’s voice chokes out as Kevin changes angles, and his eyelids flutter as he moans loudly. “You’re a sappy dumbass,” Neil whispers and Kevin grins, fucking Neil harder. 

Neil’s arms wrap around Kevin’s neck, and Kevin leans down to add a hickey to the ones already decorating Neil’s chest as Kevin’s personal work of art. Neil cries out as Kevin’s teeth dig into his skin, sucking bruise into his pale flesh. 

“Fuck,” Neil sobs. “Fuck, this is too intense, baby-“ 

He clings to Kevin and Kevin could only do the same, because Neil’s right – it’s too intense. He wraps a hand around Neil’s cock and Neil’s back arches, hips moving up to meet Kevin’s, and Kevin fucks him hard, stroking Neil’s member – 

“I’m going to come,” Neil warns, and Kevin just presses kisses along Neil’s jawline, hips still thrusting into Neil. Neil’s so warm and tight, his body is so inviting, it fits perfectly with Kevin’s – 

“I love you,” Kevin whispers again because he can’t help himself, squeezing Neil’s leaking, hard cock and –  

Neil’s orgasm is soundless, but the aftermath isn’t – he rides out his orgasm on an aborted yell or scream, with gasps of “ _fuck_ ”  and then he’s yanking Kevin down and whispering “I love you, I love you,  _I love you_ ,” over and over and over. 

Kevin can’t help himself, he groans loudly as he fucks Neil’s sensitive entrance harder and Neil cries out as his spent cock rubs against Kevin’s abdomen and Kevin comes with a loud groan, overpowering Neil’s love chant. He presses his cock into Neil, fucking him, hearing the slick sounds of Neil’s cum-filled passage. 

“Fuck,” Neil gasps out, gazing up at Kevin’s eyes with wonder. “I’ve never come so fast.” 

“That was intense,” Kevin whispers, his heart beating at an unhealthy pace. “Fuck, baby.” 

He kisses Neil, and Neil clings onto him, rim still clenching around Kevin’s spent cock. Kevin kisses his way up Neil’s jawline, down Neil’s neck, tongue lapping at Neil’s nipple. 

Neil shivers. “I just showered,” he whines, and Kevin snorts. 

“It’s part of my evil plan,” he murmurs, biting Neil’s lower lip. “I plotted all of this, just so I could fuck you again. This means you’ll have to bathe again, and go to sleep later than you expected, which means you might reach to your training late tomorrow and I’m  _hoping_ that would overthrow your entire season and we’ll win at the finals.” 

Neil’s smile is glorious. 

“You’re not supposed to tell me your evil plan until it’s completed,” Neil kisses Kevin’s nose. “That’s a total Doofenshmirtz move.” 

“Fuck,” Kevin grins, licking Neil’s cheek, and Neil wrinkles his face. “You’re right. I need a new evil plan.” 

“Shut up,” Neil giggles, poking Kevin’s cheek in retaliation. “And carry me to the shower. I think you fucked all the feeling out of my legs.” 

“Yes, Captain,” Kevin winks at Neil, pulling out of him. Neil grimaces at the slick sound it makes and Kevin can’t help himself as he spreads Neil’s open and dives between his thighs, lapping at his hole. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Neil swears, hand gripping Kevin’s hair. “Fuck, Kevin!” 

Kevin wiggles his tongue into Neil’s opened hope, licking him clean, before sitting up and grinning widely at Neil, who’s flushed. 

“If I hadn’t just come by brains out, I’d be half hard,” Neil promises, leaning up and kissing Kevin’s slick lips, moaning at the taste. “Fuck, you’re incorrigible.” 

“You were making a mess on the bed,” Kevin says innocently, smiling happily at Neil as he slips his hands under Neil’s body, picking him up easily and carrying him over to the bathroom. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please feel free to leave kudos or a comment :)


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